Crying is my Superpower
and don't mess with her Ninja badass sword wielding wingwoman
Hello my friend,
As a child, I cried a lot.
By a lot I mean most days.
The other five members of my family were clueless.
When I stood looking at my face gushing tears, inches from the cheap 5 & 10 variety store floor length mirror in the corner of my parent’s bedroom, my mother’s response, “Your face will freeze that way if you keep watching yourself cry”, sealed my sorrow.
When I choked gratitude tears presenting my bridesmaids their gifts for being in my wedding, and shared how much I loved them, appreciated their support celebrating my nuptials, my sister quipped, “Oh, get it together Gayle, dry up!”
When I spent half of my waking time weeping at a three week intensive meditation retreat, and at the end asked my teacher if the tears ever ceased, and he responded “Does the rain ever stop?”, I knew I was okay.
When I shed tears and others feel uncomfortable, I feel them anyway because there’s no way I can’t, and I am not responsible for others discomfort when I am feeling sad. Neither are you.
I cry a lot these days.
I cry viewing beautiful red Cardinals.
You might be a cryer too. If so, let those tears flow. Tenderness is needed and welcome.
It’s another Sunday, now Friday. I did not plan to write to you. But I just read Ted Klontz’s newsletter and my heart is aching and my sword is swinging.
My heart is nourished by his presence—words, voice, sound, intention, energy, truth. Who are your people who bring to life the best of being human? Let them feed you.
I’m weaving with energy and emotion and connection.
Excited, hesitant, and confused, I made myself a second cup of coffee, snacked on my recent batch of baked cottage cheese and egg squares topped with Everything Bagel seasoning, grabbed my laptop and began writing.
Writing is my sword.
My friend, Tammy, just called interrupting and fueling my writing. We resonated with tears, shouts, snipes, WTF’s, current news!!!, and lots of wake the f*ck up people!
As a child I also screamed a lot. Tears and shouts.
Though I remember and feel the tears more than the screaming, I know I screamed because punishment for my “misbehaving” was writing pages.
In my childhood memorabilia you’ll find aged, wrinkled and stained white lined notebook paper of my pages and 24 repeating lines on a left side column, I will not scream.
I’m screaming now.
As part of the 60% (please click Ted’s link above), and I truly believe you are, wake the f*ck up. Do something.
I carry my father’s genes when I say do something. I believe you are, doing something, and still I name it while talking to myself. My father angered when people stood around, watching him work—packing a car, making a meal, fixing the broken lawn mower, picking up trash, raking the yard, pulling weeds, cleaning a spill. Tolerating only a few minutes of observation, he would then bark:
Don’t just stand there, do something.
Being awake, let’s stand together, hold hands, cherish the earth, receive her blessings, and ignite the courage, fire, and clear action to love humanity into wholeness.
Let’s do something.
We are the ones the world has been waiting for.
I am reminded that we are sometimes not ready for what is in front of us. Our soul’s journey requires mending, growing, illumination, encouraging—these ways are wonderful, when we have the luxury of time.
Do we have that luxury now?
In February of 2023 my book, The Body of Money was published. While this is not a plug, if you have it and were not able to read it back then, try again. If you don’t have a copy, try this link to order one on sale.
A friend and client sent this to me yesterday:
I must not have been ready the first time I started, but a couple weeks ago I was stressed by house costs and retirement getting closer and I knew it made no sense to allow it to continue so I started reading.
I love the story of having to follow your path even though no one thought it was a path...don't I know that!
And the part about the three archetypes! Man, I thought I had to shut down the anything non academic and wasn't any good at it anyway.
The book was written by my compassionate Ninja sword swinger who wants you to know, by heart (head and belly), you embody all that is needed to live your one wild and precious life, as favorite poet Mary Oliver urges.
It’s not about money. But we all retain old limiting unusable worn out wreckless debris that blocks the truth to our best selves, why we are here, our gifts, our realizations.
We can only go as far as we are able. Stretch, just a bit. Be in discomfort, not pain.
Growth requires tension.
Tension in the form of thoughts.
Tension in the form of emotions.
Tension in the form of bodily sensations.
Tension is uncomfortable.
Release of tension debris with somatic practices opens the window for something new, something better, something that brews love, kindness, joy and peace, as well as, relief.
Ignite your compassionate warrior.
Be a badass.
Be an eagle, serpent, naysayer, fairy and friend.
Be more of you contributing to this life and the next seven generations.
Most of my parts are ignited knowing we are going to be okay, together. The other parts are grabbing the hands of Ninja badass swinging her sword and hanging on for the wild, uncertain ride!
Sending my adoration through my tears and sword,
Gayle
I'm really liking the Ninja badass sword wielding wingwoman!